On the days he sneaks back into my mind, I visit his page to check how he’s doing. And every time I do so, pictures of him with her celebrating some of life’s special events seem to stare back at me, their smiles silently screaming ‘you are not welcome here anymore’. Yet, on my worst days, I still couldn’t stop myself from thinking that in another lifetime, it could have been me instead of her.
For a long time, I’ve always seen her as the person who took advantage of our trembling relationship, the person who pulled him out of my life for good. There were too many nights spent laying wide awake thinking that if she didn’t come along, would we have had a shot at a second chance? Would he have had tried? Would we have had salvaged friendship from our sinking relationship?
And finally, after two awfully long years, I stopped thinking of her as the person who heartlessly stole him from me. I realised that we can never possess people, and even if by some twisted miracle we do, no one ever has the power to steal another person away unless that person too, wanted to leave.
And he wanted to leave.